Turning life around...

Im Amy,

15 and pathetic. What am i doing in this life? All i seem to be doing is making the beautiful flowers we call life wilt. Everything i touch turns sour.

So this blog - My blog will be a track record for me to turn my life around.

Starting tomorrow i want to forget past life.

Starting with giving up smoking.

Its going to really damage my health. I already do enough to fuck up my health i dont need smoking aswell.

The longest i had given up smoking for was 6 days. At the time i felt so proud. 6 days though. What is that? Im determined this time though. With the help of the BBC help website i hopefully will succeed. The BBC help website has some amazing tips. I recommend it to anyone trying to give up.

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Another thing that has been a gripe with me is my weight. At my highest weight i was 175lbs. Massive. A size 16. I then turned to Ana (anorexia). My current weight thanks to her is 151.8lbs.

The weight loss is just happening too slowly.

So i want to be more active and healthy. I am thinking of walking to school in the mornings and then walking home.

Thats 2.5 miles each way. 5 miles a day. Walking to school will be quite difficult for me as i like sleeping in but if i can get in the habbit of walking home daily soon it will come easy and i will be able to walk to school too with out worries. All i have to do is shove some of my favourite tunes on either one of my MP3s and i will be away.

Another thing im promising myself is im going to walk home each day if its raining or not. Friends walking with me or not.

I will look at the results in 2 weeks and see if anythings changed.

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Now with two plans on board with health im going to look at a few more.

1. Have a shower daily before bed - im a bit sloppy when it comes to washing.



2. Put E45 cream on my dermatitus daily - remembering to put it on my scars. If this fails i want to go to the doctor for cream for the spots and go to boots and buy something for the scars.



3. My nails are terrible! I mean terrible. I wish i never got nail extensions. From tomorrow i want to always keep putting see-through nail varnish on them to strengthen and i want to file them if they annoy me instead of biting. With toe nails i want to cut them the right way once a week.



4. Moisturise my face, and cleanse. If im not eating properly i need something to keep me glowing. Also always remember to take off make up before i go to bed.



5. Shampoo and condition my hair every other day. Then blow dry and straighten it while using the toni and guy products.

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Now thats the health aspects of me. Now ive got to think about state of mind.

First off i need to become more optimistic. Positive. Nothing ever is the worst - and problems can be resolved sort of thing. If my health improves so will my outlook on things also i believe.

One negative thing about me is my school progress. Im terrible with school. Maybe i just find it hard to commit, I must learn though for my future. I want to take a career up in the police force - my mum told me i had no compassion for anything so i really need to find some! Although i REALLY hate to do this when i fall behind or what not i think im going to have to help myself and stay behind late after school. That way i can catch up. Ergh.

For now thats all the goals i think i need to handle. I believe its going to be as easy as i make it. So now off i go to finish my tobacco, slog about, and watch sex and the city.

Amy xxx